She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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