is your mom at the bar?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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