If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
