Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
