Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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