Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
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Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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