my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
