R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
