Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
