yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
