I hope mine doesn't look like that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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