Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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