He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
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I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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