first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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