What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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