I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
