Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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