the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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