My boss' voice literally gives me gas
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My liver just had a heart attack.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
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I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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