I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
