Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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