FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
