hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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