Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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