she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
