doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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