Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
