You work out of a Hotel?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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