So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
