just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
