I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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