god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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