Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
