Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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