I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
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I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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