Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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