guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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