Me too!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
