It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
where am i from again
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
