Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
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I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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