i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
