Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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