i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
there is glitter all over my balls
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
