It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
