Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
