He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize