It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
