Nicole vs. Life
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
