Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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