I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
