Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
