apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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