hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
