is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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