In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
