i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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