is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
