that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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