Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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