Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
