Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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