bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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