Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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